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Dania Marsha Ray

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12/11/09 01:24 am

But all these days, they feel like they're the same. Just different faces, different names.

12/9/09 03:59 pm - Feelin' list-y

OK why do I feel like I don't enjoy updating this space anymore? So things have been happening. Let me just list them down.

-I think it's karma. I'm eating way too much now. I think I've gobbled more chocolates than I ever did before. This isn't right.

-I went for a mani pedi session yesterday! Well let's put the excitement aside because I thought the people there didn't do a good job. And! The polish chipped!

-Watching Grey's Anatomy is like a ritual now. Wonder why they don't have the show on local tele anymore.

-Holiday assignments. Oh man who loves those? They're still on my To-do list and still on my table, collecting dust I suppose.

-Oh and have I mentioned? I saw my literature teacher at Ion with her boyfriend ha ha. Isn't this weird? We think our teachers devote their lives to teaching and nothing else. It's like they have no life.

That sums it all up.

12/1/09 12:55 am

Now that Saturday's over, I feel like there's nothing this week that excites or anticipates me. This year, this month, this week, everyday. Everything is going so fast. Too fast I lose track of the date. Speaking of dates, I had a date on Saturday. It was pretty well spent. Walked a lot, sat at the children's section at Borders and left after some story-telling thing started. Filled our tummy tum tums and then headed down to Vivo City to chillax since it's sheltered cause it was drizzling. Had some dessert at Ben & Jerry's and stargazed(cause it wasnt drizzling anymore). There weren't many stars though. Dan even thought he saw Mars. Left for home after that.

So now we're official.

11/25/09 06:02 pm - Set the fire to the third bar

Woke up thinking we'd spend the day at home until a phone call was made. I had to fight back my fatigue since the raising of my dad's voice won't put me back to sleep. I was told that we'd be going to a place I've only heard of. Hot Park. The only message that was sent to my brain was the weather- Sunny and well, hot. Plans suddenly changed the moment I hear the sound of Trisha's whining.

Decided to play a very popular tapping game called Tap Tap Revenge until exhausted, I close my eyelids. Killed too much time that I was too late to reply a text message.

11/21/09 06:00 pm - This is my Truth

I have never felt this way about someone. All the past relationships were all short-termed if you know what I mean. I may not have told you this but I think I love you more. More than I ever did before. I feel so comfortable with you around, it's like I don't have to pretend to please you. And whenever you're with me, it is when I feel whole and complete. They say good things come for those who wait. I think I'm one of them.

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11/21/09 04:17 pm

"Mom can you get me a mocha latte please?"
"A non fat one."
"NO! A FAT ONE!"

11/19/09 10:47 pm

The truth is biting me right in the ass.

11/16/09 12:19 am - We are family!

Yesterday was spent with the family + Edwayne = Family Fun. We played charades and I think we were the loudest in starbucks. Trisha felt tired after a while, so Eddie got her the strongest coffee they had. In other words, he got her an expresso that tasted so bitter the bitterness still lingers on my tongue after gulping some water. (Yes I had a sip) There were lots of pictures being taken and walks that never seem to end. It's been quite a while since we last spent a day with him. Later on that night, we finally decided to be less of a scardey cat and caught paranormal activity! Scared the shit out of Eddie he ended up sleeping in my room hahahaha! Oh boy what a day.

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11/13/09 03:13 pm

Maybe making mistakes is what we're ought to do. Maybe knowing is better than wondering. I have to stop being afraid of making decisions.

11/10/09 12:07 pm

Today has been pretty well spent. Woke up early for a morning run, well Trish and i decided to take a walk to MacD's for breakfast and then walked back home. Went out again for a jog, and then jogged back home. Took a long, cold shower followed by some yoga after that. I think yoga really calms my mind, and it makes me flexible too! Now, i figured i should rest by going online...or lazing around in bed. Sounds like a good plan? Me think so too.

11/9/09 10:49 pm - Hope you hear this one day

Angel of mercy, how did you find me? Where did you read my story? Pulled from the papers, desperate and hardened, seeking a moment every fix. All I wanted to say, all I wanted to do is fall apart now. All I wanted to feel, I wanted to love. Its all my fault now. A tragedy I fear.....

(I see your fear creeping around you. First love, then hate, then love, no, wait. Your confusion, it's gonna kill me.)

Start. I'm gonna start with this. Just a single thought followed by words. I hope I don't miss, miss anything. Write you a letter, but it's better that you hear me. I suppose I could sing, write a song to share the meaning of the love for you I'm feeling. People saying what they will... I don't care.




And now you confess that you need me.
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11/8/09 08:44 pm - Where do I go now?

Sweet guy. I don't think anyone has ever loved me in a big pretend to like movies or my taste in music kind of way. Maybe it's an infatuation, how many times have I even been in love anyway? This thought. I feel like I've been bullied by this thought. And then the bigger bully comes stringing along, with a familiar question- "What do you want?" Not bothering to retaliate, I walked away.

11/8/09 02:29 am

It stabs me real hard in the chest, cuts me deep in the flesh, breaks my bones to know that what i want now is (fill in the blanks because i'm not gonna say it).

Some reasons shouldn't be understood, they just might turn your blood cold. Who needs all the answers?

--------

Today was family day. Good and Bad. Good because we had fun gobbling a lot of food. Bad because i couldn't make it for Firkha's leadership thing. Buddeh i am so sorry, will make it up to you! I want to upload pictures but, i think bluetooth's feeling a little blue, it refuses to work!


OK i have nothing interesting left to say good night!

11/2/09 09:28 pm

That wasn't a very wise thing to say. And it made this matter a whole lot worse.

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11/2/09 01:28 pm

It's a sunny November afternoon and i'm bored, hungry. There is nothing at home... except well, maggie mee. But you know how bad my cooking skills are. Hmm do i even have cooking skills in the first place? OK let's scrap that thought. Was actually thinking of getting unhealthy food (THINK: MacDonald's) but i'm really lazy to get out of the house at this hour. I'm too hungry to even function. SOMEBODY SAVE ME i need food!!

11/1/09 01:20 pm

I tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong, black and white didn't fit you. And all along, you were shaded with patience, your strokes of everything.

Its been so long since i last paint. I feel like painting but, what should i paint? And who shall i paint for?

10/28/09 10:27 pm - New found love

It feels... Real, and sincere.

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10/24/09 10:39 pm - indecisive

You know how I hate it when you say "I told you so". I've been thinking about it the whole night, racking my brain for a good explanation. Figuring out the best way to tell you how I feel. Yes, I may have this issue of not knowing what I want but I really don't know how to explain this feeling. What I know now is that I'm worried I won't have ample time for things that are more significant. Next year, I'm taking a major exam and you know that. I can't describe how bad it feels to do something I don't enjoy anymore. I tried to explain to you and it took me a whole lot of courage to let you know about this and all you did was to snap back at me. I tried, I tried to tell myself several times that this is not the best thing to do but I want to do something I enjoy, I want to have time for other things as well. What I'm doing right now doesn't let me. It doesn't give me freedom it doesn't make me feel happy. I just hope you understand how I feel. I know you want the best for me but. This is my choice. Let me handle it for now, let me have my say, let me learn from my own mistakes.

If I could tell you more I would but hey I did my best.

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10/22/09 07:34 pm

Decided to give school a miss today, was feeling rather tired from yesterday's show. So mom woke me up REALLY EARLY by giving us a call and told us to meet her in town. All was worth it though, i bought a new pair of shoes!


I am so bored of everything.

10/18/09 09:12 pm - You can't handle the tooth

This may sound absurd but i had a dream, a very scary dream. I dreamt that almost ALL of my tooth were plucked out. They weren't intentional of course. As we all know (OK maybe not all but me), when you have a dream of that sort, it means someone who's related to you is going to go. Forever. Which scared the shit out of me because this isn't the first time. In the dream, I told my dad to pinch me because of obvious reasons. Who in the world in their teens would wanna be seen with missing tooth? It felt so real because the dream was... somewhat long. And now, I feel relieved only because it didn't happen to me in real life.
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